I know when I'm being managed, I don't like being given unsolicited advice. From watching this TED talk it really gave me perspective on how I conduct myself as a manager.
TL'DR - Everyone wins when as a manager, you ask questions rather than giving advise.
In the talk "How to Tame Your Advice Monster," Michael Bungay Stanier explores how our instinct to give advice often backfires, leading to unhelpful outcomes. He identifies three personas of the "Advice Monster" that can derail conversations: Tell-It, Save-It, and Control-It. Stanier emphasizes the importance of staying curious longer and resisting the urge to provide immediate solutions. By fostering curiosity, individuals can improve their interactions and leadership effectiveness, ultimately leading to better problem-solving and relationship-building CredibleMind.
As with many good ideas, I found Michael's points to be very simple: ask questions rather than providing solutions. To be a good manager, you don’t need all the answers, but you should excel at fostering conversation. I believe asking questions is something I do often, but now it’s something I want to make an effort to do by default.
It's easy, when you think you know the answer, to believe that offering your "advice" will help your report. After all, this solves their problem immediately. However, the cost of this approach is that you’re not giving them the opportunity to own the solution. As I’ve started managing more people, I’ve felt the pressure on my time—I can’t be involved in the finer details of the many tasks my teams are working on. So, the time I do get with my reports is best spent helping them explore higher-level ideas rather than diving into the small details.
I find this to be a nicer way to work, everyone wins. I’ve felt less pressure to have all the answers and to solve my teams’ problems. I see my role as removing blockers and facilitating change. This approach aligns perfectly with asking, "What’s the most important problem you need to solve?" rather than ideating on the fly.
If you have any comments/feedback/questions on this article please get in touch! It would be great to hear if you've caught yourself being an advice monster and how you feel that impacts yourself as a manager and your team.
